Unexpected Carnage at the Mall
by videl888
Summary: The Gundam boys run afoul of Vegeta...


Yes, in this story you will see something foreign to all of anime fandom -- Quatre interested in a girl. Yes, hard to believe, I know, but there it is. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
Unexpected Carnage at the Mall  
  
  
  
  
"I've had it! Enough is enough!"  
  
"But Noin..." whined Quatre as the tough and capable lady soldier grabbed his arm in an unbreakable grip and started dragging him to Relena's pink chauffeured car. Ever the opportunist, in battle as when concerning five 'special' young boys, Noin grabbed Duo as he innocently sauntered past them. "You, too."  
  
"...Wha?" One look at Noin's face silenced whatever smartass comment he was about to make. He gulped nervously and sidled into the car. Heero was already there, arms crossed across his chest, fuming, yet pretending not to fume, since nothing in the world could ever possibly bother the inscrutable Gundam war veteran. Duo guessed that Relena had something to do with his presence, and the non-fuming.  
  
Said princess twisted in the front seat so that she could survey her collection, her gaze lingering on each pilot with smug satisfaction. Looking sadistic, yet somewhat more approachable than Noin at the moment, Duo decided that Relena might be a good person to ask what the hell was going on.  
  
"Uh, Princess -- what the hell is going on?" he asked politely.  
  
Her eyes hardened. Duo began to sweat. Then he began to sweat more as her lips twisted in a feral smile. Noin, in the meantime, had stormed off back towards the palace, presumably to collect other unlucky victims.  
  
"Noin and I have known you boys for years. And yet -- you are all wearing the exact same clothes today that you were wearing the day we met." Duo's heart thumped erratically with dark foreboding. Quatre looked a bit wild-eyed. Relena's smile showed way too many teeth as she dropped her bombshell.  
  
"We're going to the mall."  
  
Duo's blood ran cold. Quatre surreptitiously clawed at the door handle. Relena calmly  
locked the entire car from the front seat. Heero hunched even further over his crossed arms, trying for expressionless and failing. Registering a horrible grinding noise through the fear-sweat brought on by panic, Duo realized it was Heero's teeth. Wing Zero's pilot refused to meet anyone's gaze.  
  
Just then, Trowa was unceremoniously dumped into the back seat, shoving Quatre further inside the car. The Arabian boy twitched like a caged animal, breathing rapidly, eyes searching for any escape. Trowa looked around with mild curiosity, then shrugged, settling in for the ride in apparent unconcern. Noin squeezed in next to Duo and firmly planted herself, preventing any possible exit.  
  
"Where's Wu Fe?" Duo heard himself ask, his voice strange and distant in his own ears, his mouth so dry the words were a mere whisper. Maybe, somehow, he had escaped...  
  
"Trunk." Said Noin, still intractable.  
  
Duo gulped audibly. Relena smiled sweetly - too sweetly. "How else could we get that one to go? We had to chloroform him and tie him up." The gentle, loving heir to the Peacecraft legacy turned to the driver and said innocently, "We may go, Pagan."  
  
The car pulled smoothly out of the driveway, and Duo felt dread close on his heart like a crushing fist. Nothing he had ever seen in all the fighting -- in all the battles, in all the changing alliances and twisting machinery and death -- nothing had struck fear into his belly like the tone of that last, final comment from Relena Peacecraft.  
  
  
  
***********  
  
  
Quatre wished he were dead.  
  
Stumbling through the stores, eyes glazed with shock and horror, the young boy had finally started accepting clothing shoved at him from Noin and Relena, dazedly going into fitting rooms and trying them on, coming back out again, paying for them.   
  
Wu Fe, stumbling through the stores, eyes glazed from being drugged in his sleep, clumsily did as he was told, as well. Heero hadn't spoken one word the entire trip, and had a gleam in his eyes that was worrisome to anyone who knew him. Duo kept trying to get away, but Noin always found his hiding place, twice in a sales rack, and once in the bathroom. She hadn't thought twice about going in there and rousting him out.  
  
Tough cookie, came the stray thought. It almost made a giggle rise in his throat, as a feeling stirred in his breast much like the one he'd had after trying to pilot the zero system...  
  
Trowa looked like he was enjoying himself, although it was always kind of hard to tell.  
  
A nudge in the ribs distracted Quatre from his thoughts, and he was brought back to the present, several Duos swimming in front of his dazed eyes before coalescing into one grinning face.  
  
"Hey, Quatre, check out the scenery." He tossed his chin in the vague direction of the entrance, nudging the blonde boy repeatedly.  
  
Squirming away from the annoying braided pilot, Quatre turned and beheld -  
  
A girl. A beautiful girl, with big blue eyes and long blue hair, a vision of wonder...  
  
Quatre realized he was staring with his mouth open. Duo's face was about to split in half. "Don't just stand there like an idiot, go introduce yourself!" he hissed, shoving him in her direction for good measure.  
  
"Duo, I can't just..."  
  
"Go on! You're a fearless Gundam pilot, veteran of countless battles, hailed as a hero. What's so scary about a pretty girl?" Duo forcibly moved a tongue-tied Quatre towards the girl, who tossed her hair flirtatiously, giggling as she held up a scandalous dress in front of the mirror. He was still stammering when Duo gave one last shove and then skee-daddled.  
  
She was a vision. Quatre was lost, and didn't know the first thing to say. He was about to edge away from her when she turned, and he was caught by a brilliant blue gaze. Her eyes warmed the instant she saw him. Quatre felt like melting.  
  
Opening his mouth to say something which would no doubt be incredibly stupid, he was stopped as a very, very bad feeling suddenly swept over him, turning the blood in his veins instantly to ice. Just off to the side from the beautiful angel, Quatre's eyes suddenly focused on a muscle-bound thug in black jeans and a muscle shirt lounging against the store entry. His stony, black-eyed gaze locked on Quatre, and for a moment the world stopped. Quatre had only a few seconds to register the insane rage on the spiky-haired man's face before the world erupted in flame.  
  
With an inarticulate scream of rage, the strange man strained backwards, his hair bursting into golden light so bright it was hard to look directly at him.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM MY PRINCESS!!!" Quatre took an involuntary step backwards.  
  
The angel rolled her eyes, and spoke. "Daddy, please!"   
  
Quatre somehow managed to close his mouth.  
  
The other Gundam boys watched the altercation, ready to jump in and defend Quatre if need be, which actually looked pretty damn likely at this point.  
  
Using considerable restraint, Vegeta strode menacingly towards Bra and her unwelcome suitor. Suddenly, there were five boys instead of one. Vegeta snorted. He could destroy this pack of pups without hardly lifting a finger. Meanwhile, Bra pouted. "Daddy, come on, he was just being nice!"  
  
A gun appeared in Duo's hand. Vegeta responded with a sideways smirk. "What, do you want to die, too?" he growled.  
  
Surprisingly, it was Heero who responded. Raising his ubiquitous green tank top, he revealed about a million sticks of dynamite strapped to his body.  
  
Duo let out a low whistle. "Boy, he sure comes prepared, doesn't he?"  
  
Vegeta stopped in surprise. Crazy kid...  
  
"Mission accepted," Heero said calmly, dead eyes locked on the Saiyan Prince. Then, with surprising speed, he latched onto Vegeta like Lady Une onto Treize. Then they both exploded.  
  
Colliding with the ground, Duo realized he had been thrown backwards from the shock wave. "That bastard... will do anything... to get out of... shopping with... the girls!" he panted, the breath knocked out of him, irritated that he hadn't thought of that solution himself.  
  
Climbing painfully to his feet, he saw a huge, blackened crater, crumbling walls, and a large hole in the ceiling. People were fleeing the mall. I wish I was with them, he thought bitterly before focusing his attention on the untouched Saiyan Prince, standing calmly in the center of the crater, grinning like a maniac. "Nice," was all he said.  
  
Vegeta had had enough. He'd been dragged to the mall, forced to shop with his daughter, and then to see some hormone-charged teenage slimeball sleazing after his princess... well, it was enough to make anyone snap. He started to gather energy for a technique he fondly referred to as the 'Earth-B-Gone' attack. The remaining Gundam boys squared off for battle, looking grim but determined. Vegeta's sensitive hearing heard the blond one whisper, "If only I had my Sand Rock..."  
  
"Daddy, come on, let's go!" Startled, Vegeta turned to find his sweet little girl tugging at his arm. She was like sunshine, and all the anger instantly washed away in the light of her golden smile. He let his energy dissipate, and his hair faded to deep black. Smiling beautifically, the Saiyan Prince beamed at Bra. "I can never say no to you, Princess. Where do you want me to take you next?"  
  
Jaws universally dropped, the Gundam boys (minus one) watched the blue-haired girl tug her insane father from the store, giggling sweetly and tossing her hair. Then the encounter was over, and the strange duo was gone.  
  
"Well, well," commented Noin from the counter, where she and Relena has been paying for clothes when the fighting broke out. Relena looked briefly at the new shirt for Heero and, sighing in disgust, put it back. "If you think you can get away that easily, Heero Yuy, you have another thing coming," she muttered quietly "You can run, but you cannot hide." Noin pretended not to hear the stalker-talk, in the interest of her continued good health.  
  
Just then, everyone was nearly blown to the ground as huge servomotors whirred, vents opened, and air blasted everywhere, and the Tall Geese swooped into the giant hole in the ceiling.  
  
"Don't worry, everyone, I am here now, and ready to destroy all who oppose me," came the calm voice from the speaker.  
  
"Zechs, you idiot! The threat is gone!" screamed Noin, frustrated.  
  
There was a moment of embarrassed silence. "Damn."  
  
She fumed. "Your timing always sucks. Probably because you have to think about what you want to do for 10 hours before you do it, usually resulting in you being useless. Like now!"  
  
"Uh..." The Tall Geese was still blasting wind on everyone, flattening them.  
  
Relena and the remaining Gundam boys edged away from the two former OZ soldiers, hoping to avoid the carnage that would ensue once Noin got Zechs out of that mobile suit. They didn't want to get blood all over their new clothes, after all...  
  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
  



End file.
